So long, and thanks for all the fish

In a tearful leaving party, Toby (screw the lot of ya, I’m off) Bubbler, left Cheese sniffers for the final time on Friday. At the party lots of people celebrated his time at Cheesesniffers that lasted for all of 30 seconds, the rest of the time was spent getting drunk and singing rude songs.
It’s a shame that Mr Bubbler (12) had to go early as he had to be in bed by 8.30. Everybody else partied on late into the night, some even staying out until 10 o’clock.
Toby Thingy will be missed by everyone. Indeed already all of his stuff has been taken by people just wanting ‘A bit of Bubbler’ and his old place in the office is apparently up for auction as it’s the best place in the office to get away with not doing anything and its far enough away from bosses to get some sleep in the afternoon’s (As Toby proved on my occasions).
Let’s hope he sends us news about his new work place, what it’s like to be a male stripper and of course how the hair transplant goes!! – The Phantom

Richard Hammond is bald

Its official, Richard Hammond is actually bald. Anyone who watched last night’s ‘Top Gear’ program will have noticed a strange similarity with James May’s hair and Richard Hammond’s hair.
We had an exclusive chat with a man who made the Wig for Richard and he told us that Richard asked his two mates from the show if they would donate hair for him as he was suffering from alopecia.
Richard apparently tried to make something out of fur from ‘Top Gear Dog’ but this just looked silly. They then tried to make a hair piece out of Jeremy Clarkson’s hair but poor Richard just looked like a bad Brian May impressionist.
So the hair had to come from James, renowned for his long mop that we have watched growing over the years from a very tidy thatch on his head to his current style of long and flowing locks.
As we all saw last night, the hair piece was a big success, even if they do look like brothers or an odd couple who have been together far too long.
We wait and see what new hair creations appear of the next few weeks, and also how Richard is going to cope in high winds, Maybe he has some really strong glue to keep his hair on. – The Wookiee

Denise’s rubbish

We wrote about Denise Krunble-cakes new car and the fact that she has difficulty getting it up, the roof of course, as it’s a convertible.
Unfortunately she left the roof down the other day in the company car park. Someone must have mistaken it for something else and started to fill it with building waste. It was only at 5 o’clock when she got outside did she see the extent of the problem. We got this photo when she was on the phone to a local garage.
We don’t really see the problem, she just needs to take it to a car wash and get one of those really good air fresheners, that always does the trick. – The Wookie.

Bubbler finally gets his new car

As we all know, Toby can’t go 4 weeks without getting a new motor; we don’t know why this is!! But we do know he picked up his new passion wagon last week.
Cheesesniffers ace photographer managed to get this photo of it parked outside his house on Friday. Once again he’s gone for a Ford, but it a massive turn of events he’s gone for a really odd colour. It might look pink to you and me, but he assured me it’s actually blue, it’s just the way the light falls on it, the sunset or some other guff he made up on the spot. Let’s face it ladies, Toby’s off limits now and we seem to think his feminine side has really kicked in, watch this space to see if he starts wearing dresses and more makeup than usual!!! – The Wookie

Phil leaves Cheesesniffers

Phil Shoe-horn finally left Cheesesniffers on Friday after many years service. Doing what is anyone’s guess, but we have noticed the hits on E-bay from the office have gone right down.
Phil has left us to go and pursue a career in advertising, working alongside some of the greats, such as the PG Tips monkey, The ape on the Cadbury’s chocolate advert and those other two monkey’s on ITV, Ant and Dec.
He was very sketchy about what he’d be doing but we wish him all the best of luck at ITV. – The Phantom

Public apology

It would appear that Toby Bubbler didn’t like our story about his new car and sent us a really strongly worded E-mail about it. We can only send a most heartfelt apology to him. We pictured his car as being pink, he wrote to us saying “he does not drive a pink car, has never driven a pink car and objected to us ever saying he did.”
So we got hold of this picture of his car. What a really nice looking motor it is too. – The Phantom